Often times at work I'll punch out but I wont be quite ready to leave. I'll want to use the considerable computer hardware available to draw, play games or surf the internet, and it just so happened on Thursday I did just that. I don't recall how the conversation got started, though We had been listening to www.radiolab.org all last week and there had been a variety of impromptu discussions on the topics. This whole event probably sprang from that.
That event being the Libritarian and myself debating the nature of influence and where it comes from and how much it effects us every day. He obviously took the view that he was cut from whole cloth, that all of the things he enjoys, everything he dislikes, all of his ideas and every last shred of his personality, is 100% his own and his decision. Nothing has ever influenced him to do anything ever.
There's just something about a rickety construction, wobbling back and forth in strong wind that just makes you want to give it a good push and see how hard it will come down.
I obviously took a different view, that we are influenced all the time, not only by the media we ingest and the families who raised us, but by elements of society itself that have been here since the first settlers landed. This of course didnt set well with my co-worker so I had to walk him through the idea.
Ours is a nation of dualities that began when the puritans, who were simply too uptight for Great Britain, sailed for the New World. These were people who viewed life as a black tie affair. Everything had to be proper, everything had to be observant. The enjoyment of life was no where on the program. It is from the Puritans that we get our need to AVOID BEING DIFFERENT FROM THE GROUP.
Those who followed the Puritans were a motley assortment of entrepreneurs, outcasts, malcontents, explorers and criminals. It was from these brave souls that we pull our 'Great American Spirit,' that drive to stand out, to stake a claim, to be recognized, and above all else, BE YOUR OWN PERSON.
These are the competing concepts that make us the Americans we are everyday. The war between group acceptance and purest individuality. It isn't until you really stop and consider why you are the way you are, what you're interests are and more importantly why you lean toward or away from the things you do, that you really start to realize how little of yourself is actually yours and yours alone.
We spent nearly forty minutes, the Libritarian and I, going back and forth on these concepts. He reacted much like I did when my mentor first proposed this idea to me. 'No,' he railed, 'everything is my choice and I made it, no one told me to like the things I do!' But slowly and surely, as the evidence mounted, he realized the truth. I didnt point out that his total sublimation to a political party is the most damning evidence of his influences, but I figured baby steps. We would start with his taste in fashion and other interests before completely pushing over the framework of his life. When the heap of timber went down though it was a sight to behold. His shoulders slumped, the air left him, and all he could say is, 'Damn, you're right."
That's when I threw him a life line.
'Now that you know you can be influenced, you can finally start to see where they are, where they come from. Now you can truly be the individual you want to be and choose how you let yourself be influenced in the future.' He seemed genuinely excited at that prospect.
I didn't tell him that it would take a life time of vigilance. I'll let him reason that out. Hopefully he will.
After the conversation I was elated. I had begun to carry on my mentor's work, in just the way she said it was to be done. One person at a time. It's all we can do.
Also, my mentor is dead. She died last year. I might be able to talk more about it in a month or two... We'll see.
